I always wanted to have a diary of some sort. I tried keeping one as a kid but I always ended up abandoning the idea. I wasted a lot of nice and pretty little notebooks I bought to be my diary (I even had ones with locks). I thought, “My life is so uneventful! I don’t have adventures to write about!” But now, looking back, I realize I was wrong.
I always admired those who regularly update their journals or blogs or Vlogs. “They must have a lot of time to be able spare some to write or shoot those entries. Their lives must be so eventful that they always have something to say at the end of each day. Me? I’m not adventurous. The same thing happens to me everyday. I don’t have anything to write about or say. I don’t have time for this. I don’t write well, people might judge me,” I thought to myself. Now, I realize I just made myself a lot of excuses to avoid doing something I wanted to do because I was afraid. I was afraid I’d run out of ideas and things to write about. I was afraid that people would judge my writing. I was afraid someone might read my journal and think I’m shallow or immature. I was afraid to try things I wanted to do because I was afraid I’d make a fool out of myself. I was afraid that people may not find me interesting enough.
I was so busy making excuses for myself that I failed to notice that, even then, I reflect. I reflect on what I did, how I should have reacted, how I should react if ever it happens again in the future, what I should do next, what I really wanted to do, what I wanted to try, what I wanted to say to people, how I should relay them and many more. I could have written about those. If only I wasn’t busy criticizing myself so much, I would have kept those journals, continued writing on them, started a blog, practiced my writing, learned to organize my thoughts, and started my journey to self improvement earlier on.
Everyone has his/her own story. Maybe, my everyday life was (and still) ordinary. But then again, each of us experience things differently. We came from different environments, interacted with different sets of people and had different past experiences, all of which contribute to who we are today. We may see the same people and places or have similar everyday lives, but, each of us will perceive and experience them differently. That said, I must have something, too! I have stories, thoughts and experiences to write and talk about. If they are similar to yours, it will be nice to know that I’m not alone. If they’re different, I will be more than happy to share new things to you. So, these and more, I want to, and will, share to you reader, to anyone who is interested, to anyone who wonders if you’re the only one who did this or thought that, and most especially, to myself. To my future self who will be a different person from the person I am today.