Relationships

Appreciation

We all want it. Sometimes, if not most of the time, we do things just to be appreciated, to be noticed, to be acknowledged.

I remember complaining to my parents how they always notice when I do something wrong but never notice it when I do these things right. Putting my used clothes in the laundry basket after I bathe, for example, I forget them in the bathroom when I’m rushing (I used to be always late, which in itself is another issue). Or bringing my clean clothes to my room after they were ironed, which I forget because I don’t always do it. I get lectured every time I forget to do these little things. Sometimes I forget doing them even after they already reminded me to because they tell me while I’m in the middle of doing something else. The frustrating part was that failure of doing these little things pile up and are carried over the next time I’m lectured again. But when it comes to doing these things right, I get nothing. No acknowledgement, no notice, no appreciation, no cancellation of previous instance of neglect. I put my clothes in the laundry, I get nothing. I remember to bring my clothes to my room without reminder, I get nothing. I am not rushing and am not late, I get nothing. But the next time I failed to do these things again, I’m sure it’ll be noticed, and I will be lectured for it and for all the times it happened in the past.

I asked myself. Why is it so easy for them to be mad at me for forgetting but never notice when I accomplish them? What is so hard about acknowledging, when lecturing is easy? Lecturing takes more time and energy, as compared to saying, “I noticed you did this. Good job,” or, “I see, you did that. Nice.”

But I was expecting to get something that I myself don’t give. I complain about not being appreciated when I myself don’t let other people know that I appreciate them or the things they do for me.

When I was going to school, my mom would wake me up 15 minutes earlier and I would complain for not getting those precious sleeping minutes. I never thanked her for waking me up so I can get ready before the school service arrived. I didn’t even consider then that she was only doing that because she knows how hard it is to get me out of bed. She always made sure breakfast is ready before she wakes me up. I complain for the lost 15 minutes of sleep when my mom got up at least 30 minutes before me so she can prepare meal.

I never organize my things. I put them where ever there’s space. The things is, I remember where I put them and the only times I lose them is when someone else put it away or organize them. My father would always lecture me whenever I look for my things, and in my head I blame him because he’s the one putting my things in other places without my knowledge. What I fail to do is appreciate him for tidying and cleaning my room. Sometimes, my table gets so cluttered with my things that I use my laptop on my bed instead. Then, when my father comes, he clears it up and I’m able to use it again. I don’t think I ever thanked him for that, but I was able to complain about not finding my things when I need them because he put it away.

Now I ask myself, why is it that I complain too much, when there are so many things worth appreciating? What can I do about this? Then, I tell myself this:

(1) Appreciate others more, and let them hear in words that they are appreciated.
(2) Appreciate yourself more. Sometimes, it’s all you need. If you do, you won’t need others to do it for you.

Have a great day! 🙂

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