Bouncing Back to Old Habits

I mentioned before how I tried to work on my chronic lateness issue. Now, I’m bouncing back. I’m back to being 30 to 45 minutes late for work meetings.

I also noticed how I was not able to fix my body clock. I used to sleep 6 hours at night and one to two hours in the afternoon. That was a good cycle for me. I had a regular rhythm even though I was not sleeping particularly early. I think this rhythm helped me to do more. I had a day schedule, which I make before I sleep at night. I know what I should do after breakfast, I know I had 30 mins to 1 hour breaks all through out the day. I was able to slip in some exercise to my schedule.

But now, I find it hard to sleep at night and wake up in the morning. I go past that 6 hour “night” sleep. I try not to sleep in the afternoon anymore so that I would be tired enough in the evening and sleep early. I try to lay down in bed at around two in the morning, but won’t be able to sleep, get bored and be forced to get up again because of hunger. I get up and eat, because I don’t want to wake up with stomach ache. I don’t want to sleep immediately after eating so I’ll try to work, read an article online, watch youtube videos, check emails and facebook, or read a book. After all these, I notice it’s already four in the morning, and I force myself to sleep. I don’t wake up 6 hours later anymore, my Mom wakes me up at 11:30 because my favorite noon time series already started. If it wasn’t for that, I would probably be still sleeping. There were times when I wake up, check the time and sees it’s 9 am, and I go back to sleep again.

I think, this is what causes me to bounce back to my lateness as well. I’m too lazy to get up in the morning. I’m too lazy to sleep at night. I move slower. I don’t know if this is an effect of something else. Am I depressed? Am I stressed? Is this a form of escape? If it is, escape from what?

Maybe, I’ll realize later. But for now, I should do something to adjust again. Baby steps, one step at a time.

I know I can do it. I’ve already done it before.


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