Sometimes, I look back and re-account my experiences. The times I succeeded with a goal, the times I failed. I try to see what I did that contributed to the good events and what I did that contributed to the bad. Through these and some online reading, I noticed that we often set ourselves up for failure. Our first step: self-doubt.
I realized that the only times I failed were the times I have failed to push through. The times I changed my goals to easier ones, I failed to achieve my original goal. The times I settled for less just so I can keep doing less, I failed. When I gave up on wanting to graduate on time and told myself it was enough to just graduate, I didn’t graduate on time and became more and more delayed. When I gave up on learning on subjects I found difficult and just aimed for passing mark, I didn’t actually passed the subjects because I didn’t learn what I had to. Whenever I gave up on myself and convinced myself that I couldn’t make it, I failed.
Steps in failing:
- Convince yourself that you can’t do what you’re trying or want to do.
- Lose motivation and see no good future in it. Lose hope.
- Stop trying because you think everything you do will be useless.
On the other hand, I noticed that I was able to do things I almost thought impossible at first when I chose to push through and believed I can succeed. Or at least maybe, when I hung on to a possibility and tried everything I can to make that possibility happen. When I didn’t drop a subject and told myself I would never know whether I pass or fail it if I don’t try, I passed the subject. When I got two 4s in one semester, studied, tried to get help from more knowledgeable others, studied some more and did other preparations, and took all that I learned and some courage to the removals exam, I passed both subjects. When I held back my tear and tried to focus all my strength on thinking of ways to prevent a failure from becoming permanent or true instead, I graduated in college. In all these times and more, I made it.
Steps to making something happen:
- See the possibility of it happening.
- Cling on to that possibility, however small.
- Do everything (ethical) in your power to make that possibility come true.
I mentioned ethical because some people might consider deception, cheats, force and include methods like these when trying to reach a goal. I believe that there are no shortcuts in life. There are efficient ways to do things, but there are no skips. Try to cheat on something now, and suffer later. I don’t want to suffer now or in the future, so I’d rather do something the hard way.
If something similar also happened you or if you test out these steps, please let me know. I would like you hear your stories. 😀